just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
mondays should just be called national damage control day
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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