We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
