i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
