How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
