Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
