i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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