i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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