Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
