overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
