Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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