she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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