Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
