i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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