Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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