is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
