quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
