There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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