The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
