My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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