Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Damn victory sex feels great
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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