She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
