that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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