i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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