i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
