Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
