i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
