he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
