Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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