I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
