I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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