Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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