Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
