"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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