I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Randomize
