Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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