Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
