just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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