She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
