We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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