This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
