My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
