i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i think i just lost a toe
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
