I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
