I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize