your parents love me but you hate me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
