You're my little dorito
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
