a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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