honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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