Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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