So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
