I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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