i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize