Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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