no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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