i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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