im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize