You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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