The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
