Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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