You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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