I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
