Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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